So it's been about 6 months since I posted anything here; I kept meaning to post something, really, I did, but I just couldn't muster up the energy to get things out of the draft pile and up for the public...yeah, it's been a rough 6 months. *sigh* Continuing unemployment, getting passed over for jobs, and a severe lack of money, especially over the past two months, will really do a number on your self-esteem, and while I've managed to function over the years in spite of ongoing dysthymia, it's really a whole lot easier to ramble on about your wacky life when you're not wondering what the point to all of it is.
Anyway, things may slowly be looking up; while matters still haven't been straightened out with Unemployment yet, at least I've been doing temp work lately, which helps immensely in terms of both having money coming and, and reminding myself that yes, I really can be a functioning human being who does a particular job reasonably well. I also have a birthday coming up tomorrow (July 15), and while getting older may not be the greatest thing around (I think I may be getting varicose veins, damn it), it still sure as hell beats the alternative.
Yesterday I was busy trying to clean up around my humble abode in anticipation of friends coming over for cake and ice cream Monday evening, and was outside attempting to prune some of the jungle out front so that people could actually find the front door; inside sinks, dish drainer trays, and cat food placemats were scrubbed, counters cleaned off, and floors swept and mopped; it was exhausting, but at least I don't have ghost pawprints all over the damn place any more. (One of the downsides of having been brokeass has been not being able to afford the good kitty litter--I prefer World's Greatest Cat Litter--and having to go back to using clay litter. Unfortunately, Miss Jezebel seems to be part raccoon (well, we're pretty sure she's part Maine Coon, which is kind of half-assed for a Georgia barn cat, but go figure...anyway, although it's genetically impossible people have assumed for years that Maine Coons are part raccoon), because she just loves playing in her water bowl, splashing water all over the damn place. (Considering that's what she was doing in the shelter the very first time I laid eyes on her, I should have known this would be an issue...) Combine that with her tendency to kick litter out the front door of the covered litter box (my only consolation is that it would be an even bigger mess if the box didn't have a lid), and, well, that's when you get little ghostly footprints from one end of the apartment to the other.
(Did I mention I have marble floors in most of the common areas? Yep, I may live in a rathole basement apartment--"garden apartment", my ass--but as the realtor explained to me back when I first rented the joint, the builder was apparently buddies with an Italian marble importer, hence the fancyass floors. While they do have some advantages--they keep things a bit cooler in hot weather, and spills are easily wiped up--they're a major bitch in terms of keeping them mopped, and I still haven't figured out what the best way to take care of them would be; almost everything you'd normally use for floor-washing ends up leaving streaks all over the damn place. Suggestions, anyone?)
At any rate...someone just did the sweetest thing for me! I went to check my mail after the mailman stopped by, and found something that must have been put there last night or earlier today: a bright blue handmade envelope with a return address of "B. Fairy, 1 Calendar Way, Forever, Neverland 98765", and my address as "Here, Nowsville; Mortal Coil, Terra 12345." Inside was a homemade card out of the same paper w/flower & butterfly stickers on the front, and this is what it said on the inside:
"When you give your all to everyone who needs you, there's no guarantee of anything good happening at all. Understanding that, and doing it anyway, makes you a very unusual person. Times are hard, and it seems like there's no such thing as enough any more, but your compassion and integrity are an inspiration to many.
Robin, you are loved.
--The Birthday Fairy"
Oh, and there was $30 inside the card.
I ended up spending way too much of the rest of the day bawling my eyes out and making my contacts very unhappy, because this is SO damn sweet, and I keep feeling so unworthy somehow--I have no idea who did this, because the whole thing is computer-printed; I'm thinking it might be someone in Camberville/Medford who knows where I live, maybe someone I wouldn't normally expect (not that you ever expect something quite like this...). After the year I've been having so far, and especially the way I've felt over the past 2-3 months or so, this really means a lot to me. *sniff* (I don't know if any of you ever read Frances Hodgson Burnett's A Little Princess, but it was one of my favorite books growing up--well, still is, if I'm honest--and somehow this brought to mind the scene where she wakes up after the first time The Magic has come to her garret room; if you know the book and the scene, you're probably fumbling for the tissues right now, too.)
Ah, well...time to go get some groceries and pick up my prescriptions; since it's going to be brutally hot here all damn week, I need to find things I don't need to cook. At least I got my cake baked this morning, and will frost it tonight, so that's something...